To the victor I shall give some of the hidden manna; I shall also give a white amulet upon which is inscribed a new name, which no one knows except the one who receives it.

Revelation 2:17

On Monday evening, something unusual happened—something unique in my experience, though the tradition extends back to the Book of Genesis: My son received a new name.

Our second son, whom we named Gabriel Venjohn Thorp, is discerning religious life with the Community of Franciscan Friars of the Renewal (CFRs). After spending the past year as postulants at St. Joseph’s Friary in Harlem, he and five other young men entered the novitiate Monday at Most Blessed Sacrament Friary in Newark, New Jersey. As novices, they received their habits—the gray hooded robe and cincture of the friars—and their new names. Our son is now Brother Jude Apostoli, of St. Michael.

In my line of work, you might call this a brand refresh: new name, new packaging, same great mission—serving as a living witness and example of the love of Christ.

We’ve had lots of questions regarding his name, both before he received it and since. I’ll answer them as best I can, with my somewhat limited understanding and the brief explanations we’ve heard from Brother Jude and the other friars.

• Did he get to choose his own name, or did someone choose it for him? As we understand it, the postulants can prayerfully suggest names to their superiors, who have the final say. It ought to be (must be?) a saint’s name, of course. The Holy Spirit plays a big role, but practical concerns also factor in, like how many other brothers in the community have the same or a similar name, how outlandish it might be to the ears and tongues of the people the friars serve, etc. In our son’s case, the name he proposed was ultimately approved—but until Monday, we were told, it was not guaranteed.
• Why did he suggest Jude? The name Jude has some significance in our family. Back in 2010, we suffered a miscarriage early in our pregnancy, just after telling everyone, including the kids, that we were expecting. It was a hard experience for Jodi and me, and formative for our older four children. We called our baby “little Jude,” because the name worked for a boy or girl, and has ties to both my name (Jude is the brother of James in the New Testament) and Jodi’s name (Jude and Jodi are similarly derived). Additionally, we prayed to St. Jude, patron of hopeless causes, for Dad’s healing and conversion in recent years as Parkinson’s and dementia took more and more of him from us. Over the past year, our second son developed a particular devotion to St. Jude, praying with a first-class relic of the apostle that resides at the friary in Harlem.
• Where does Apostoli come from? The short answer is the late Father Andrew Apostoli, one of the CFR founders, who passed away in December of 2017. (In addition to saint names, friars can consider the names of the founders.) When we visited the friary in the spring, Gabe told us he was considering Apostoli as his second name, in honor of the good and holy priest, founder, and author, but also for more symbolic reasons. Many friars seek a Marian second name (Mary, Maria, Marie, Guadalupe, etc.), and he felt drawn to that, but also drawn to the Apostles as a group and Pentecost as an event, with Mary present. Apostoli is the plural of Apostle (apostolo) in Italian, calling to mind the group gathered in the upper room at Pentecost and Mother Mary, albeit in a hidden way. Learning of his Grandma Venjohn’s particular devotion to the Holy Spirit also helped clinch it for him—he would propose Jude Apostoli.
• Do parents call their friar by his given name or his religious name? We were told by the friars that it was up to us. Often, parents struggle with their child’s vocation to religious life and calling him or her by a new name is a challenge or even an affront. But as I told a Protestant friend who asked, there is a long and venerable tradition of people receiving a new name when called by God for a particular purpose: Abram to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, Simon to Peter, Saul to Paul. We will do our best to call him by his new name. (I would say I’m using Brother Jude 85% of the time when speaking already, but I tend to reflexively type “Gabe”…)
• What about legally—what will it say on his driver’s license? Does he even have a driver’s license? His driver’s license and all legal documents will still say Gabriel Venjohn Thorp as his legal name, although the further he progresses toward final vows and withdraws from the world, the fewer occasions he will have to use it. As I understand it, his religious name may appear as an alternate name or alias on government forms and the like.

His name has been well received by everyone to whom we’ve spoken so far. Those who knew of our loss in 2010 were touched, and I have already told Brother Jude that I will be addressing him personally as Big Jude, alongside our Little Jude.

This name, this habit, this life, seems to suit him to his sandals. God bless you, Brother Jude, and your fellow novices. We will be praying for you all during this long year of solitude. We love you.

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Photos courtesy of the Community of Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. In the group photo (left to right): Brother Kolbe (fully professed friar and maker of the habits, among other things); novices Brother Francis Immaculata of St. Louis (Ryan Box), Brother Anthony Solanus of Detroit (Jeremy Krygowski), Brother Ezekiel Thomas of Vienna (Joseph Dumais), Brother Barnabas Luke of Fowler (Brian Ambrustmacher), Brother Jude Apostoli of St. Michael (Gabriel Thorp), and Br. Martin Guadalupe of Camarillo (Christian Apodoca); and Father Innocent (fully professed friar, priest, and postulant master).