fatherhood

LIFT Links: Family Faith Formation Through Sacramental Living

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If we want to raise Catholic children and keep them that way, it’s important that we aren’t just going through the motions. This week, how about a few links to help us be more intentional Catholic parents who lead our children to Christ by the sacraments and example?

  • Show Your Faith, Even at Work. When I worked for the University of Minnesota, I often felt as though I were behind enemy lines. I found myself anticipating conflict and constantly wondering if I were outspoken enough about my faith. Three separate priests, on three separate occasions, gave me the same advice: It’s not about picking fights with people who feel differently — it’s about being a known, visible, practicing Catholic. If people see you living your faith, they’ll be drawn to it, and if nothing else, they’ll realize that Catholics are all “bad.” For advice and inspiration on this topic, check out “Five Ways to Show Catholic Courage at Work.”
  • Make Up Their Minds For Them. Some parents worry they are somehow hampering their children’s personal development and freedom by raising a them Catholic. The First Things article “Should Children Make Up Their Own Minds About Religion” makes the case that, no matter how you raise your child, you are shaping their reality for them, and rightly so — because they aren’t equipped to do it for themselves. It is important to give them the right framework early, that they may choose wisely when it comes time to choose for themselves.
  • Mass Is Essential! This month’s adult lessons are focused on the Mass and the Eucharist — the “source and summit” of our faith. How serious is it to miss Sunday Mass? Years ago, I went to confession with a long list of sins, including the fact that I has missed Mass while traveling. When I finished my list, the priest ignored everything but that missed Mass. “You know that the Mass and the Eucharist are meant to be an experience of the heavenly banquet here on earth, right?” he asked. I said yes. “And when you choose not to go to heaven, where do you choose to go?” I understood. God asks us to give Him one day a week — a small price to pay for our existence! For more on how to share this reality with your children, read, “Keepin’ It Real: Why Sunday Mass Is Important” on the LifeTeen website.
  • Stop Worrying and Take a Load Off. For a blessing as big as the sacrament of Confession, we sure have a lot of anxiety about it. “Should I go or not? Is my list long enough? Too long? Face-to-face or behind-the-screen? Will Father know me? Judge me?” For a great insider’s perspective on what happens in the confessional, relax and read Fr. Mike Schmitz’s article “Inside the Confessional: What Is It Like For a Priest?“
…then pack up the family and head to the church. The sacraments — and the Savior — await!

LIFT Links: The Pro-Santa, Eve-of-Christmas-Eve Edition

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Blogger’s Note: I am a big fan of Santa Claus. You do not have to be…but if you’d like to be, and still hope to keep Christ as the focus of your Christmas season, here are some thoughts on how to do so. (Elf on the Shelf is not one of them, because I find him too tangible and a bit too creepy — but to each his or her own!)

Trevor visiting with St. Nicholas

This Is No Way to Save a People

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Brawn would serve better in dark days. A warrior-king, fierce and just, with a gleaming sword to rally the oppressed, and perhaps a little gold in the treasury. But no. A common child, born in a barn, for mothers everywhere to chide. A wriggling newborn, helpless and purple, soiling the straw of a feeding trough, bloodying the stainless white of his mother’s peasant shift and the hard unkingly hands of his carpenter stepfather. Joseph, right? All trade and no talents, that one—David’s line has grown thin indeed. And no place to call home. Bound for Egypt, on an ass.
I wrote the words above three Christmases ago, shaking my head in wonder at the unearned gifts we had received in the previous few years. We had miscarried in November 2010, and even in our heartache, had been pressed by our older children to try again. We then had Lily and watched as our family reformed around this tiny monsterpiece. After more than a decade of married life, we had finally brought our marriage into conformity with all of the Church’s teachings and had been dismantled and rebuilt in God’s image: a life-giving communion of love.
I hadn’t seen that coming…but then, who does when it comes to God? Who would have imagined that the Lord of the Universe would enflesh Himself and be born under questionable circumstances to an unknown Jewish girl and her working-class husband? Who would have expected that the promised king would show us how to die in this world that we may live forever with Him in the next?
We know these stories by heart—so when they fail to surprise us, we must make a concerted effort to listen with new ears and a renewed spirit. To that end, let’s open one early gift together: the gift of God’s forgiveness. Next Monday, Dec. 22, at 7 p.m., we will host our annual Advent penance service here at the church. This is a great opportunity to go to confession as a family and to pray for, and be lifted up in prayer by, our parish community. Let’s unburden ourselves of all those times in the past year in which we’ve failed to look with joy and wonder at the blessings in our lives and the mystery of our salvation; of all the times we’ve failed to love others as God does or doubted His mercy for us; of all the times we’ve watched the world unfolding and despaired, if only for a moment.
We wander this world, like Joseph and Mary, as unlikely saints. But God is real. Christ is real, and He’s present in the Church and in the sacraments. Let us take a step toward the holiness He desires and open ourselves fully to His joy, grace, and mercy in time for Christmas. 


Blogger’s Note: This article appears in the Sunday, Dec. 21, church bulletin .

How the Baby of the Family Celebrates

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“I’m three now!”

 On Monday, our monsterpiece turned three. Strangely, the fact that, for one special day, the world revolved around her seemed very much like any other day, except that she also got to choose what we had for dinner. Baked mac-and-cheese and meatloaf was the order. (Actually, Double Beetloaf, a tongue-in-cheek name for a family favorite recipe from Jodi’s soon-to-be sister-in-law, Tally.) And a castle cake, with pink frosting and multicolor sprinkles.

She just uncovered her new gift.

Her gift has been hiding in our shed since late last summer: a toy kitchen, complete with cookware and play food, picked up at a garage sale down the street. She’s been cooking vegetable-donut soup, making coffee with baked beans and green beans, and making giant cups of tea topped in strawberry ice cream ever since.

No real veggies could ever compare!

Based on these recipes, she will not be catering her birthday party this weekend, which she somehow convinced everyone she was having by talking about it for the past month as if it were a reality. She has invited two girls roughly her age from daycare, one preschool-age neighbor girl, plus Emma’s middle-school friends Ella, Emma, Paige, and Olivia; and Brendan’s and Gabe’s high-school friends Olivia, Joe, Jeff, Justin, and Joey.

“Excuse me…I need to take this.”

See, they’re her friends, too. She knows them. She talks to them. She claims them. And I think most of them are coming, because when Lily beckons, it’s what you do.

“She so cute!” Jeff’s and Joe’s parents gushed at Brendan’s wrestling meet tonight.

Oh, no, I thought. She’s got you, too.

Happy birthday, dearest monster!