First Time for Everything

Absolutes are nice. The fact that my little diesel car* had never failed to start, no matter how cold, was a point of certainty, clarity, and yeah, a little pride. Even in January 2008, during that brutal cold snap in which I went blackpowder hunting for deer and lost feeling in the tips of my big toes for weeks — even after all day out in 20 below temps, icy winds and snow, she started.

So I was surprised and dismayed this morning when, at a mere -6, she wouldn’t start. She turned and turned, but wouldn’t fire up. I warmed her little glow plugs five or six times — nothing.

Huh. Jodi drove her yesterday evening, and left her on the drive. Ordinarily I’d park in the garage over night, but still … those two days last January, she was good to go.

I’m a little sad today. No more absolutes: “She fires right up — except this one time …”

And then it’s not even that good a story.

* A 2000 Volkswagen Golf TDI, silver, pushing 190,000 miles. She’s wonderful. I’ve yet to name her.

Restless Morning

I’ve worked from home the last two days. It’s quality quiet time, uninterrupted save for shepherding Boomer in and out from his corner of the garage to his kennel in the bitter cold.

My office doubles as our laundry room, or perhaps it’s the other way around. The floor is cold concrete, and try as I might, today I cannot warm my toes. So I take a break from speech-writing to stand near the fireplace and look out the glass doors on the back yard.

The heat from the fire brings warms my shins to what feels like an orange glow. A fat gray squirrel hangs bat-like by his hind feet from the bird-feeder, stealing suet and seed meant for chickadees, nuthatches and woodpeckers from a hanging wire basket. Another bounds through the spruces, sending plumes of powder tumbling down.

Our ancient Airedale Boomer has slept in his dog house most of daylight hours. Now he sits outside, in the snow, watching the trees and sifting the cold breeze with his great black nose. The squirrels escape his notice — sight and sound fail him, and the air is perhaps too dry for scent. He sits stock-still a moment, then turns his palsied head toward the house, directly toward the door — sniffs visibly but makes no sound, then turns his attention back to the trees nearest him. I watch; periodically he turns, looking as though he sees me — but I know he can’t, and he makes no sound. The brilliant cold is rejuvenating and deadly; between the trees and the house, he seems to weigh the consequences. I’ll wait until he barks to bring him in, not out of laziness, but out of mercy to his failing pride.

I should return to work. My shins feel like they’re crisping, but my toes have yet to thaw. I turn away from the glass. Puck sleeps in a tight circle at the end of the futon. This morning our manic Schnauzer is the only one not restless.

Winter Wanderings

Blogger’s Note: Haven’t blogged so much lately. Crazy busy, plus lots of little things to say, but rarely a post-worth. So how ’bout a collection of random bits from the season so far?

It’s been cold this winter. At least, it’s felt that way to me. I can just about tell the temperature by the feel of my whiskersicles. Temps fall into the single digits; I get ice forming in my goatee. Below zero, and they form in my mustache, too — provided my nostrils don’t stick shut first, or the wind doesn’t require me to suck wind in gulping gasps between gusts or cover my face.

One morning last year, it was cold enough that my facial hair simply went white, less condensed and frozen water droplets than flat-out frost. My reflection in the window of Morrill Hall’s side door gave me a glimpse of a white-bearded future. Nothing that bad yet this year.

* * * * *

Boomer’s doing better this winter than last, but it’s hard. Some nights he wants to sleep in his kennel; some nights, in the garage. We bought the old boy a dog bed for the garage, but he lays on the hard floor instead, using the bed like a pillow for his chin.

His preference for the kennel versus the garage doesn’t correspond to temperature. The coldest night in recent weeks, he returned to his kennel in the evening, and slept like a stone all night and well into the morning. When he hadn’t emerged from his house by mid-morning, I went out to check, bracing for the worst. I could see him curled in his house. The thick hair on his back was coated in frost, and I couldn’t see him breathing … no, wait! One long sighing breath, in and out, then nothing for five seconds or so, then another.

A couple hours later, he was awake, barking at the house for a biscuit and some warm water.

* * * * *

In the run-up to Christmas (and the Winter Break on campus), it was lovely to leave Morrill at the end of the day, and see snow swirling about the columns of Northrop Auditorium. My path to the parking ramp took me across a plaza adorned with hardy little maples strung with white lights, and the nights were so silent.

A block further, you’d begin to hear what sounded like music. Another half block, and the music was clearly holiday in nature. Then it came into view: the Beta house, I think, strung with lights that flashed on and off like keys of a great and colorful piano, in time with the rhythm and melody of familiar holiday instrumentals, which were being piped to all and sundry through loudspeakers.

My first reaction was mild annoyance; I’d been enjoying the silence. But the spectacle was well done, and now, with the students gone and the lights hanging dim; the house, silent, it doesn’t seem so bad at all.

* * * * *

The post-holiday clean-up has been slow, in part because the kids seem to be getting sick in circles. Maybe this weekend we can regain our home. At least the lights are mostly down, and the sweets, mostly gone. I still feel overstuffed somehow.

* * * * *

The moon seems so far off in winter, a bare bulb in a high, lonely window. I remember an old farmhouse set back from the road near where I grew up. The brush encroached on the two-track driveway, and the grass grew high around the foundation. I never saw a vehicle, a puff of smoke from the chimney, or a living soul there in all my years … but once I saw a light in the upstairs window. It seemed so cold that evening, too.

* * * * *

Blogger’s Addendum: When I posted this initially, that last two lines read, “I never saw a vehicle, a puff of smoke from the chimney, or a living soul there in all my years … but once I was a light in the upstairs window. It seemed so cold that evening, too.” That was a typo — I meant “saw” — but metaphorically, it worked that way, too.

Steinbeck, or Three Things to Love About East of Eden

At the beginning of summer, I agreed to my friend Jacqui’s challenge to read 15 Classics in 15 Weeks. At least, I agreed in spirit, with the understanding that I may not accomplish it in the suggested timeframe. Obviously I haven’t, but not for the reasons I thought (kids, work, etc.).

In late July I began reading Steinbeck’s East of Eden, a novel Jacqui read in a day and a breath, a novel that my friend Deacon Tyler couldn’t wait for me to finish. I struggled to finish, not because it was slow going or difficult or bad, but because it was so good. It required my full attention for long periods of time, and I wouldn’t cheat it.

This is a novel to break yourself upon — a mountain of a book that makes you want to climb even at risk of life and limb.* This is a book, Jacqui and Jinglebob, that inspires you to want to write breathtaking, aching prose, and makes you afraid to ever set down another inadequate word on paper.

My summertime Three Things to Love schtick seems to belittle this book somehow, but here goes:

  • Grand Themes. The book is biblical, universal, deep, and moving.
  • Minute Authenticity. Steinbeck conveys complex emotion precisely with a single detail: the arch of a brow, the movement of lips. Beautiful.
  • Memorable Characters. Samuel and Liza Hamilton. Cal Trask. Lee and Abra. Complex, flawed, and totally lovable for it.

I liked the book. A lot. Next: The Picture of Dorian Gray.

* * * * *

*This gushing praise is authentic for my part. A colleague started this book during the fall and quit, seeing it as an apologetic for bad parenting. You may not like it; I am not as well read as I should be, but this may be my favorite book I’ve ever read.