Don’t Get Comfortable

I have a longer piece to write at some point, about how St. Michael has been a spiritual home for me and my family—Ground Zero for my thorough reversion to the Catholic faith and our conversion to an authentically Catholic understanding of marriage and sexuality, not to mention the garden in which my children grew strong in faith and began to first bear fruit for the Kingdom.

I could write a book. Maybe I should someday. But today, it’s just a column on what’s next for me and my family.

Continue reading

Book Break: Happy Are You Poor

For the past 20+ years, I’ve noticed several strange phenomena nearly every time a conversation turns to what the gospel says about material wealth and spiritual poverty:

  • Friendly conversations turn defensive: “We don’t have that much; so-and-so has X, and vacations every year in Y.”
  • Faithful Catholics attempt to justify themselves: “If you include Catholic school tuition, we give 10 percent like the Bible says—and we serve in other ways too!”
  • Straightforward moralists become subtle and nuanced: “What ‘poor in spirit’ actually means is…’”

And, in some cases, actual spiritual deafness occurs: I was in a conversation once in which I admitted my own struggles in this area and said I felt I needed to do more to actually love my neighbor from my own resources. A friend followed my remarks with, “It’s like Jim says…” and proceeded to relate the exact opposite message.

Father Thomas Dubay’s book Happy Are You Poor was written to combat these phenomena with clear teaching from the Gospels and the rest of sacred Scripture, edification offered by various popes and councils, and the lives of the saints. It was recommended to me by Father Daly in response to the awe I feel as Brother Jude (our second son Gabe) proceeds in his journey as a Franciscan friar and the conviction that I need to live a less self-centered and materialistic life.

Continue reading

Wednesday Witness: Step Outside Yourself

But God said to him, “You fool, this night your life will be demanded of you; and the things you have prepared, to whom will they belong?” – Luke 12:20

Not long ago I met a woman going through serious medical and financial difficulties. For many weeks, she had been off work and in severe pain due to a spinal injury. She was behind on her bills, immobile most of the time, barely able to care for herself and her child. Friends and family offered what support they could, but even the very best prognosis put her a month away from working again, provided she still had a job.

At the end of a tearful conversation, I offered to pray with her and for her. She gratefully accepted, and I asked the Lord to heal her, to address her challenges, to protect her family, and to guide those around her to know how best to help.

When I stopped to ask if she would like to add anything, she said yes—and then proceeded to pray for a friend who was going through hard times and needed a spiritual boost. She prayed earnestly, by name, for this other person, then thanked God for all the help He has provided to her so far. She never once mentioned her own situation.

Continue reading

Wednesday Witness: ‘You Can’t Save the World’

This column is part of a new, weekly series on what the Lord is doing in my heart, specifically encouraging me to simplify my own life in order practice the virtue of charity and the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. Come back each Wednesday to read the latest!

I’ve always been a big-hearted and emotional fellow. As a grade-schooler, I tried to intervene when those who were littler than me (not many) were being bullied. Invariably, I took a thumping myself. But I couldn’t help it: I hurt to see others hurt.

Whenever I got wound up about some injustice or suffering, real or imaginary, Dad would say, “You can’t save the world.”

What he taught me, instead, was how to stand up for myself, to treat others with respect, and to look out for my own—my family and close friends, those whom I could count on to help take care of me.

Dad was right: I can’t save the world. I can’t even save myself. Jesus is the sole Savior of the world, and—thanks be to God—it is accomplished (John 19:30).

But I don’t think our eternal salvation is what Dad meant.

Continue reading

Handled or Healed?

This spring I shared about a homily we heard from Father Columba Jordan, CFR, while visiting Gabe and his fellow postulants in Harlem. Father Columba asked if we were handing our problems over to the Lord or squeezing Him like a stress ball while we tried to handle them ourselves. Surrender is more than admitting we need help or even asking for help—it means relinquishing control and receiving His help, in whatever form it comes.

Fast-forward to this month: After years of talking about it, Jodi and I decided to work on our marriage together by participating in the Healing the Whole Person study at the church this summer. By most measures, our marriage is healthy and strong, but anyone who has spent decades living with the same person can point to areas in need of healing: issues that consistently cause anxiety or anger, conversations that invariably go sideways, little things that drive us crazy in disproportionately big ways. And we don’t want to settle for that.

Continue reading