Yale

Pre-Election Rant-A-Day 3: The Wrong Kind of Better

/ J. Thorp / Leave a comment

Blogger’s Note: I’ve had a terribly long and curmudgeonly blog post brewing in my head for months, and no time to write it. So I’ve settled on the “Rant-A-Day” format. The first Pre-Election Rant-A-Day is here. Number two is here. To recap: “It’s All Good” (aka “Go Along to Get Along”) kills democracy, and you can’t legislate happiness. Okay. Where are we today?

“[It’s] The Economy, Stupid.”
— James Carville

These rants began to take shape in my head a few months ago or so, after I posted a status to my Facebook page that got people talking. From August 11 at 8:31 a.m.: Jim Thorp wonders: If parents today feel as though, for the first time, their children may not have a better life than they had — maybe we’ve been seeking the wrong sort of “better” all along?”

What is this better we’ve been after? In my day-job, I write a great deal about economic growth and quality of life and human capital, and to a point, I believe we need to turn the economy around, lift folks out of poverty, and generally make life better for everyone. I mean, it sounds good. It makes sense. So why does my heart rebel?

Maybe it’s because, deep down, I agree with this guy (any excuse to use this clip; I picked this version on this site because the site was obscenity-free). In case you choose not to watch a very funny video clip (or in case they pull it at some point), permit me to quote: “When I read things like, ‘The foundations of capitalism are shattering,’ I’m like, maybe we need that, maybe we need some time where we’re walking around with a donkey with clanging on the sides…because everything is amazing right now, and nobody’s happy.”

We could use some perspective. We could count a blessing or two, and be content.

I’ve talked with my parents about their childhoods, and I know I am a generation removed from poverty. I’ve talked with friends who can’t find work — I know that edge is closer than we think. I also know my solidly middle-class five-figure salary puts me in the top quarter of earners in the U.S., and way ahead of most of the rest of the world. I know people making 10 times what I make, raising half as many kids, who look at me and shake their heads: poor stiff. I also know how comfortable our existence is. We’ve got too many bills, but we’re paying them. I’m in debt to my ears, for a modest house, yes, that has lost much of its value — but also for a million little things I used to think we needed so my kids could have a so-called better life. I know that if my family finances collapse because of reckless spending, it’s my own fault, and I know with each minivan load of stuff that goes to the church garage sale, or friends with new babies, or Goodwill, our lives improve, if for no other reason than we’re letting go. Even the kids are happier. They don’t miss it.

I remember when I got accepted to Yale — what a burden it was at first, to think that thousands of other students were trying to get in, and I applied almost on a dare, and got in. I didn’t even know if I wanted to go — I’d never thought seriously about it — and now I had the golden ticket. Leave Remus, Michigan, for a school of presidents.

I was scared.

I remember my dad pulling me aside after a day or so, and saying, “I just want you to know, you don’t have to go to Yale if you don’t want to. You don’t have to go to college at all. If you decide you want to stay here and work in the shop, that’s fine with me. Whatever you do, I just want you to be happy.”

Sure he wanted a better life for me, but that wasn’t measured in dollars or degrees. He had already given me a better life by being home for dinner, pulling me out of school to take me hunting and fishing, insisting that I work hard and well and contribute to the family, not drinking or smoking, and teaching me to say I love you (and even to cry like a man, on occasion). He sacrificed for his family. He gave me more than he got as a kid, but it wasn’t more stuff. It was more of himself.

My fellow freshmen at Yale thought I was nuts when I said I wanted to be a high-school biology teacher. They rolled their eyes when I shrugged and said I came East for an education, not a job. (Hear that? That’s the sound of a squeaking halo.) They were incredulous when I came back from Wall Drug engaged.

We used to want these things: to serve others, to better ourselves, to love and be loved. Financial independence used to mean “owe nothing to any man,” as St. Paul said his letter to the Romans; now it means a strong credit score and purchasing power.

On the radio yesterday, a prospective voter wondered aloud why his legislative candidates were obsessing over which president, Bush or Obama, was to blame for the economy, while Americans are dying in two wars. Where in this economic engine (and myriad other car analogies) do we, as people, live and move and have our being?

It’s not the economy. It never was. The economic collapse is a symptom of a world so suffering-averse that it would rather sell out its children than sacrifice its lifestyle.

We vote our pocketbooks and consume ourselves.

Pre-Election Rant-A-Day 1: Of Course I’m Right! Aren’t You?

/ J. Thorp / 7 Comments

Blogger’s Note: I’ve been absent a long time, partly because I’ve been crazy busy this fall, and partly because I’ve had a terribly long and curmudgeonly blog post brewing in my head for months, and no time to write it. So I’ve settled on the “Rant-A-Day” format. My intention is to post a portion of the aforementioned terribly long and curmudgeonly blog post, in rant form, each day until the election, at which point (hopefully) they amount to something.

At Mass on Sunday, Deacon Steele shared the observation that, while saints in heaven are wonderful, saints here on earth can be tough to stomach. You know the type: always polishing their halos and making a point to love the smiles right off their neighbors’ faces.

To a certain extent, in college that was me. Not growing up in the Church, I didn’t consider myself a saint, per se — but my upbringing was quite different from that of most of my college friends and, I thought, clearly superior. Some of this was defensive: I was surrounded by very different expectations and standards of behavior than I was used to, and I watched the beliefs of like-minded classmates crumble around them at the hands of the better-informed and the sharper-tongued. So I bolstered my arguments to support my beliefs — and in the process, polished my halo.

I remember the moment a close friend finally called me on it. We were talking about the death penalty and prison and to what extent a convicted criminal’s environment and upbringing should be taken into account when sentencing. Apparently, I was arguing not very dang much because my friend said, “You think you’re better than them, don’t you?”

I paused for a moment, taken aback by the question (because, let’s be honest, when you hear that question, you’re almost programmed to respond with an indignant, “NO!”). Then I said, “Yeah. Yes, I guess I do. Don’t you?”

“No,” he said. “I think we’re the same. I got lucky to be born into the family I did, and to go to the school I did, and to come here, or I might be in the same situation as they are.”

I didn’t back down at the time, but he gave me food for thought. How much pride could I take in my parents, whom I did not choose, and the solid home and upbringing they provided? How much of me was me, and how much them? I began to listen to myself speak, and I could hear the squeak of the rag on the halo. And I didn’t like it.

Shortly thereafter, I embraced agnosticism — and not just religiously. I started to build a world view on the notion that there was very little we could know for sure about anything, and it’s best to just get along.

Thank God I met Jodi.

See, self-righteousness is ugly. Smugly counting your blessings and crediting yourself for them all won’t win you friends or favor, and clinging blindly to beliefs that keep you safe and comfortable won’t get you to Heaven (or even across the street).

But pretending that nothing is certain — or that you don’t believe in anything for sure — so as not to offend or be caught in error, is as cowardly as it is false. And yet recently — within my 35 years, it seems to me — it has become arrogant to express confidence in or adherence to your personal convictions in public, unless your underlying worldview is neutral. This approach can be summarized by three insidious words: It’s All Good.

“It’s all good.” This is how we summarize freedom and love of neighbor. It’s how we avoid conflict; how we justify ourselves and avoid condemning others; how we let everyone know we’re on their side without taking sides. It is without meaning — and when we live accordingly, so are we.

We cannot and do not live our lives in unbelief. We might keep our beliefs secret, and even act in opposition to them on occasion — but we all have convictions, and we should have the courage of them. We should act, speak, and vote accordingly. We should absolutely vote for like-minded candidates who support our way of life and our values and morals. That’s the only way in which “government of the people, by the people, for the people” can function. If we do anything less — if we decide by our actions, our words, or our ballots that any one candidate, position, or decision is as good as another — we cede our authority to the government, and all priorities and decisions become the state’s.

In this week prior to the elections, the first thing I want to say — the thing I want to shout from the rooftops, really — is this: It is NOT all good. Decidedly not. For God’s sake, and our own, believe in something and make a stand. If it’s all good, as they say, why get out of bed a week from Tuesday? How will you choose, anyway?

It’s all good will be are downfall.

We should come to the polls believing that we’re right — each and every one of us — and if we don’t believe we’re right, we should spend a little time contemplating a new direction before November 2nd. I have a set of beliefs, some of which stem from my upbringing, some of which stem from my experience, and many of which stem from my faith. Not only is it decidedly not arrogant to bring these (faith included, even in America) with me the ballot box, but it is required in order to have a functioning democracy. Our ideas and our ideals must do battle.

So next week, I will vote and do my level best to impose my own belief system on our local, state, and national governments. Why? Because I believe I’m right. Of course I believe I’m right. Don’t you?

Confessions of a Casual Sports Fan

/ J. Thorp / 2 Comments

We didn’t watch a lot of sports when I was kid. I’ve been to two professional sporting events in my life: Tigers-Yankees at Comerica in Detroit a few years ago, and Yankees-Orioles last fall in old Yankee Stadium. But when we visited Busia and Dziadzi, sports were on—Ernie Harwell calling the Tigers game on the radio; the Lions telecast on Thanksgiving; college hoops or football in season if my uncles and cousins were there, too.

At home, we didn’t pay much attention to sports unless a Michigan team was making a playoff run. I tracked the Roar of ’84 on black-vinyl-covered portable radio with a 9V power source and a hanger for an antenna. We watched the Motor City Bad Boys elbow their way to back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990, and watched the Wolverines bounce Seton Hall from the NCAA tournament in 1989. I had a big box of baseball cards, but didn’t know the three Don Mattingly rookies were worth anything until a kid at school showed me a photo in a collector’s magazine in junior high.

These days I get a lot of grief here in Minnesota for not rooting for the Twins and the Vikings, and a lot of grief all over the place for cheering for the Yankees. I have my reasons for the teams I cheer for, but none of them have to do with family ties or geographic loyalty. In fact, my reasons are only slightly better than colors and mascots. Here’s the breakdown:

MLB: Yankees (Runners-up: Twins and Tigers)
As I said, I grew up with the Tigers. I loved Chet Lemon for his name; Señor Smoke (Willie Hernandez) and Aurelio Lopez for their names, Lou Whitaker and Kirk Gibson for being Sweet Lou and Gibbie, game-in and game-out. About the only non-Tiger I could name anywhere else in the league was Kirby Puckett, and I loved him, too, for his name, his frame, and his game. Now I live in Minnesota, and the Twins always seem to put together a solid team. You gotta respect that.

As I got older, I lost interest in baseball. It seemed monotonous to me on television, and it wasn’t until after I was married that I began to catch the subtleties of the game. In fall of 1999, Jodi and I and two-year-old Brendan were at her parents’ place in South Dakota. Her older brother Brad was watching the World Series, cheering hard for the Braves, so I took the other side—the Yankees—just to keep things interesting … besides, their shortstop, Jeter, is a West Michigan boy. And I like history and tradition. I like raucous home fields.

The next spring, when baseball rolled around, little Brendan said, “We root for the Yankees, right, Dad?” He told me his favorite player was Andy Pettite, because he wore his cap low over his eyes—and he began to do the same.

How can you argue with that? We’ve been Yankee fans ever since.

NFL: Packers (Runners-up: Lions and Broncos)
Barry Sanders was a class act. Crazy talented and all business: no spiked balls or touchdown dances. He’s the one bright spot I remember for the Lions. Ever. I grew up in Michigan, so I wished (and continue to wish) the Lions well every year. But my cousin Mel was from Green Bay, right across the big lake, and Lambeau was legendary. Again: I like history and tradition. I like raucous home fields. When the Lions washed out, I pulled for the Packers. That hasn’t changed.

However: the first game I ever remember watching start to finish was a Broncos game, with Elway putting on a show. When I met Jodi, I learned that she is the only member of her family who is not a Viking fan. Her uncle told her as a little girl to root for the Broncos. So Denver stayed on the radar, too.

NHL: Red Wings
Michigan team. Yzerman and Lidstrom. History and tradition. Raucous home fields. And when I went to college, they were deadly on Sega hockey. We played a lot of Sega hockey. ‘Nuff said.

NBA: Pistons
To be honest, I watch very little basketball. But the Bad Boys, and the fact that my favorite soft-spoken superstar from those days, Joe Dumars, is leading the organization these days, means when I cheer, I cheer for them.

NCAA: It’s complicated
I went to Yale. Long tradition of intercollegiate athletics, but aside from hockey, not grabbing national headlines these days. Still, I pull for the Bulldogs. I grew up liking Michigan basketball, but also have great admiration for Coach Izzo at State and Coach K at Duke. I grew up liking Michigan football, but I now work for Minnesota, so I pull for the Gophers whenever I can (football, basketball, hockey, and wrestling). I’ve never followed college baseball. I also worked for Ferris State, and will cheer for them, except when they play the University of Minnesota or University of Minnesota Duluth.

That’s it. For what it’s worth, the kids like the Vikings and hate the Packers. And Jodi likes the Twins. To each his our her own. As I type, New York leads 7-1 in Game 6 of the World Series. Matsui-san is on fire. Go Yankees!

Autumn Recalls Octobers Past

/ J. Thorp / 2 Comments
Blogger’s Note: This originally ran as a column in Tuesday, October 7, 1997, edition of The Pioneer daily newspaper, Big Rapids, Michigan. This week, the boys have their bows out, and I’m protesting the snow today by blogging about the autumns I miss.

October! and the trees are turning red, gold and topaz. Already cool breezes tug loose the gaudy vestments and scatter them in piles ’round the ankles of tall aspen and unsuspecting maples. The sumac, embarrassed, has blushed deep red — overnight, it seems.

Only the oak maintains its dignity — its greenery turns drab brown and rustles almost the entire winter through. Only after many long nights and cold days, when the first breath of spring tickles the topmost oak leaves, does the stoic tree shake loose its crumpled hood and prepare for new leaves and sunshine.

Used to be this time of year, just about the time my feet had learned the flagstone path to my morning classes and my digestive tract had readjusted to browning lettuce and red meat substitutes, I’d catch October on the wind. A good nose — a nose hunting autumn — could pick it out, somewhere above the stench of diesel exhaust fumes and ginkgo berries. (Ginkgo trees, so I’m told, filter pollutants out of the air and drop them to the ground in these concentrated flesh-colored packets, which, when stepped on, make you wonder who brought the dog and forgot the scoop. Popular with cities; not so much with pedestrians.)

Acorns! The smell must’ve blown in from East Rock, because squirrels in the city ate pizza crust and stale bagels. And the crisp smell of dry leaves tripping over the wind and each other, and I’d be halfway home and in the woods, hunting deer with bow and arrow …

In a city like New Haven, at a school like Yale, where every meal featured a vegetarian entree and people could say things like “turkey bacon” and not stumble over the contradiction, hunting was foreign to many students. The idea of climbing a tree to ambush a deer with a bow, a half-dozen arrows and a skinning knife was both terrible and fascinating … it also earned you a wider path down down a crowded sidewalk.

Even students who enjoyed red meat often found the idea of killing a wild animal appalling.

“How can you kill an animal and then eat it?” the would ask.

“How can you eat an animal and not kill it?” I’d respond, but they do not want to know what comes before the pink foam tray and cellophane.

At Yale it was always death that took the spotlight. It makes sense, I suppose, in a land where guns are used to shoot people and (sometimes) paper targets.

Looking back at past dining hall discussions to Octobers spent hunting, it seems the focus was never death, but the wide variety of life.

I remember piling into Dad’s rusty blue pickup in the wee-hours before dawn, feeling my way up the tree to my stand, and strapping myself in and dozing as the cold seeped through my coveralls. I remember starting when an owl a few short yards away and invisible in the darkness questioned my presence in the tree. I remember the stars fading, the breakfast arguments of ducks in the swamp around me. Somewhere a splash — a beaver slaps its warning on the surface of the water. Then footsteps.

Crunch.

Eyes strain into the grey light. Stumps stop short and stare back; ferns move like deer at the farthest edge of sight.

Crunch.

It’s right behind me, but I don’t dare look.

Crunch. Crunch.

It’s a red squirrel, moving one hop at a time through the dry leaves beneath the tree.

I relax, exhale, and I’m spotted; he chatters the news to the entire section.

I remember sitting in the treetops with chickadees flitting about my hat, thinking back on my beagle, Ranger, and Dad’s old red ‘coon hound, Jack. I remember porcupines and hawks and my kindergarten teacher walking her dog past my tree. I remember watching two bucks square off beneath my tree, and shooting at and cleanly missing both of them. I remember other deer, as well, and I remember, in six years of active bow hunting, never taking one.

In fact, in all my years of hunting, I have taken only one deer, and have fingers enough to count the number of partridge, rabbit and squirrel I’ve harvested. What I’ve brought to the table, instead, are stories and memories of animals quicker and more clever than me. If the the thrill was in the killing, I’d have quit a long time ago. Instead, I’ve at last come home to October’s breezes and the chance to return to the woods. And I can hardly wait.

Bridging the Miles

/ J. Thorp / 3 Comments

I remember, while in college on the East Coast, calling an old friend in Michigan. I hadn’t seen her in a long while, and the miles of interstate made it seem longer. It occurred to me what a marvel it was that we could be nearly a thousand miles apart and speak to each other in real time, with no delay. In my mind’s eye, I pictured a map of the United States, with a flashing red dot in Big Rapids, Michigan, and another in New Haven, Connecticut, and I insisted she talk over me for a moment to drive the point home that not even the length of a word could separate what not so long ago would have been a journey of weeks.

Today I live hundreds of miles from from my family, and hundreds from Jodi’s, as well, and it’s easy to appreciate (or even take for granted) how quickly we can reconnect with each other, good news or ill, important or trivial. I’ve wondered, at times, what people did not so long ago, before the Internet and phones, when they wished to feel close to distant dear ones …

Another friend, different from the first, contacted me via the Web from Texas several weeks ago. I haven’t seen her in years, either, and we had a very nice exchange through the course of the day. In the evening she dropped me a final note, asking if I’d seen the full moon that night. I admitted I hadn’t and said I would sign off and check it out. She indicated she was going to do the same.

I logged off, closed my laptop, and called to Puck, our Schnauzer. I opened the front door and stepped to the porch. The moon hung just above the rooftops, brilliant white against a clear dark sky. I gazed up at it, and in my mind’s eye, I saw a map of these United States, with the moon shining just the same over Albertville and Houston, and my friend and I with up-turned faces. In that moment, the light in the sky seemed less a moon and more a mirror, the reflection familiar even after the years and across the miles. A smile creased my cheeks as I raised my hand in greeting.