Trevisms

Blogger’s Note: I know, I know: Facebook reruns = cheating. Sue me.

Five-year-old Trevor has been on a role. On Saturday he informed me that, because we are part of one family, we love each other but are not friends.

“Why do you think family members can’t be friends?” I ask.

“Because,” he says. “I just know.”

I press him further. “Dad, I’m serious!” he says. “We can’t be friends!”

I make a sad face and quit talking. “OK, we can be friends,” he said.

“What makes you think so now?” I asked.

“Because you made a really sad face!”

But then later I revisit the issue, after Mom has come home. “For the thousandth time,” he says, exasperated, “we can’t be friends.”

He’s remarkably clear and consistent about the rules how they are applied. Siblings cannot be friends. Parents and children cannot be friends. Spouses cease being friends as soon as they marry. However, you can be friends with your in-laws. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, godparents, godchildren and “honorary” relatives (close friends to whom you give familial titles) can be friends. And of course, grandparents and grandchildren can be friends.

Give him specific names or situations, and he displays the wisdom of Solomon. For the thousandth time … he’s serious!

On Sunday, we woke to hear Gabe’s random silliness and Trevvy’s belly laughs in the next room. Who knew that acting things out in slow-motion and fast-forward could be so much fun? Later in the day, Trevor offered to show us what they had been doing before they turned in for the night, in “slo-mo, fast-mo and medium-mo.”

“We’ll do medium-mo first,” he said, “‘cuz that’s regular speed.”

Then late this morning, Trevor asked what we would have for lunch. I told him I was thinking about eating him for lunch.

“Aaaiiggh!” he said. “I don’t want to die alive!”

“I didn’t even think that was possible, ” I said. “I thought people usually died dead.”

“Dad,” he said in a tone that suggests I’m impossibly dense, “If you died dead, you would have to die a second life.”

Blogger’s Addendum: Just now, while seated on Jodi’s lap, Trevor backside rumbled audibly. “Hey!” said Jodi, and Trevvy began to laugh. Not three seconds later, the smell hit them both in a wave. “HEY!” yelled Jodi, grimacing, and Trevor sprinted away from her, holding his nose and laughing. When Jodi attempte to leave the area, Trevor went back to where they had been seated and began to fan his hands in her direction saying, “Here comes some good-ee!”

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