Seen on the way to work this morning: An unsmiling old man seated on his front porch in a white undershirt, next to a wigless female department-store mannequin with dark eye makeup and a jagged grey chip where her nose should’ve been, wearing nothing but a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt.

Initial reaction: Visceral dread, and no idea why.

Current thinking: Maybe I dozed at a stoplight and dreamed the whole thing …

Bottom line: Jack-o-lanterns be damned!